AlienDoodles.com

Intro

I am writing this article because I recently attended a regression session with the aim of answering some of the questions that I have been asking throughout my life as an abductee. I was hoping that I would be able to remember an instance when I had had a conversation with my abductors. From this memory I was hoping that I would be able to gain an insight into the visitors motives and whether I and my family are being exposed to a malevolent force.

I was especially worried that my son was being exposed to the visitors as he recently confided in me that he was scared of The aliens. When I asked him what he meant he couldn’t answer me, in fact it was as if he didn’t really understand why he had said it. He has shown a few other signs that the visitors are a part of his life recently, for example when I was around his age I used to have a small toy figure of Steven Spielberg’s E.T.

As a child I decided to place this figure on my bedroom windowsill facing outwards. With hind site I know that I did this because I thought that the visitors would get a kick out of it, but at the time I had no idea why I did it.

A couple of months ago my son did the same thing with a large alien BEN 10 figure. When I saw it my blood ran cold and I assumed the worst. All of these things mounted up on my mind and recently while posting on a forum an old friend mentioned that it might be cool if I was hypnotically regressed so that I could draw some more of my memories more accurately. As soon as I read that I decided that yes I really must do that, but mainly because I needed to confront this phenomenon. Now that I thought that my son may be exposed to the same mental trauma that I was; I just could not stand by and let this happen. I recently went on a skywatch with the real intention of coming face to face with the visitors so that I could finally get some answers. I did everything that I could to make my intentions known to the visitors. I meditated everyday trying to send out the message that I would be on Winter Hill during the Lunar Eclipse and that for one hour; I would put away all of my camera equipment so that they could present themselves without fear of revealing themselves to the Earth’s population. My intention was to find out whether my son was safe from them, but if they would allow me to capture them on film then that would be a huge bonus too.

To me this was a show of trust. I was saying that I am placing myself in a position of extreme vulnerability, so that they could trust me not to react badly to them.

Unfortunately my plans were ruined by bad weather and the fact that the only parking spot for miles was being used by someone else for a very different purpose. I decided that it would be just too weird to park next to them and that I didn’t trust the people in the car not to break into my car while I was gone.

I drove around for over an hour in the pounding rain, on unlit dirt tracks and winding roads.

Eventually I gave up completely defeated.

I had been given a lot of time off work due to a fallen foot arch, so I intended to use this time to get some answers, so when I read the suggestion that I get hypnotically regressed I decided that I must do this as soon as possible.

I wrote emails to every Past life regressionist that I could find in my local area, believing that alien abduction is not such a leap of faith for someone that makes their living from exploring past lives.

I sent six emails and got three responses. The first response was from a lady that was extremely positive. At first I thought that she would be perfect, but my gut was telling me that she just was not the one that I needed to see.

She was extremely open minded, but I got a sense that she just was not the person that I was meant to see. The more I exchanged emails with this lady the stronger this feeling grew, she seemed lovely and I could not find a rational reason not to visit her, but my gut feeling just wouldn’t let me take the plunge and set the date. Eventually I received an email from a lady that I will refer to as Jackie. She has told me that it is ok to use her name on my site, but I am worried that her business might suffer if it is generally known that she has anything to do with this phenomena. I am probably being paranoid, but after a life time of keeping this stuff secret I could never expect anyone else to give up their anonymity when I cannot take the same step.

As soon as I read Jackie's email I had the feeling that she was the right person for the job. Her initial email was cautious and she said that she had thought about it for a while and decided that she would be able to regress me. I liked this, because it told me that she was taking this very seriously and that she understood that this phenomenon is an emotionally traumatic one.

After a handful of emails I knew that she was the one that I would visit so I made an appointment to see her.

When I arrived at her house I instantly knew that I had made the correct choice. Within a couple of seconds of meeting Jackie she told me that she had tried to print a copy of my website, so that she could be reading through my experiences before I got there. Weirdly she could only print off one image that kept printing off over and over. This image.

She also told me that she had read my initial email when she got back from holiday, during which she visited some old friends. She told me that one of her most skeptical friends had confided in her that he believed that he himself had had a pretty close encounter with a handful of visitors on his way home one night. She waited for the punchline, but soon realized that he was being serious with her. Shortly after this she read my email and decided that the coincidence was just to weird to ignore.

While we were talking I noticed that I felt as if the visitors were there with us. My ears were ringing and I had an odd dislocated sense in my head as if some one is peering through my own eyes. We had a long conversation about my encounters and what I hoped to gain from my regression. At first I was entertaining the idea of using my regression to relive an OBE that I think that I had had during an abduction, in the hope that maybe it was possible to use this event to leave my body there and then. Jackie took an instant dislike to this idea, since we have no idea what would happen to my body if I left it. Would I go into a coma? or perhaps my body would just shut down and I would die. I realized that she was absolutely correct and that I could not ask her to take such a daft risk. I then mentioned that I wouldn’t mind re-living an event where I saw an extremely exotic looking being at the start of an abduction. These fellows.

She then told me that the method that she had thought about using before I saw her was to use an imaginary door, that would take me to a random memory that my sub-conscious wanted me to see.

I decided that this was indeed the best method, partially because it made a lot of sense, but also because as we talked about this method, we both kept getting psychic flashes of the door and its finer details, such as the adornments and even a glimpse of what was on the other side. We both took turns to confirm details for each other, such as the over sized brass handle, the number on the front, I got 30 were’as she saw the number 3. With hindsight her number had more relevance than mine. We also both saw the door open and on the other side we both saw a perfectly clear night with a bright scattering of stars. The only difference is that she saw something in my peripherals, that I didn’t.

While we were talking I found myself slipping into an altered state, after a while began to see an outline of her aura which I mentioned to her, what I didn’t say however is that I could also see a small figure standing between us.

While I was deeply in this altered state I made a visit to the bathroom, just so that I wouldn’t be caught short during the regression. When I had finished I received a message from the visitors that they were really happy that I was doing this and that everything was going perfectly. I came down from her bathroom all smiles with a feeling that everything was perfect. Shortly afterward we started the regression.

The Regression

To begin with Jackie brought me down to a point where I was completely relaxed, and then told me to imagine a beautiful garden. I could smell the scent of the roses (despite my blocked nose) and feel the sun on my face. Next I walked down a series of steps to the door that would lead to my hidden memories. As I walked down the step I noticed that the stones were old concrete flagstones. I thought that they looked really out of place as the garden was a splendid Victorian garden. As I thought this a loud dried out male voice said in my ear, it is an artifact of you childhood. I then realized that the steps were made of the same flagstones that my father laid in our family garden when I was a small child.

When I reached the door I saw that it was indeed the same door that we had identified before the regression. It had a huge over sized number 30 on it and the handle was huge as well. I now know that this is because I was regressing to an age where I was a small child, so that the door ornaments would be the correct size in proportion to myself. When I held the handle I realized that it had details that I hadn’t notice before, but I put this to the back of my mind as I was eager to see what was on the other side.

At first I could not see much as I seemed to be in a darkened room. I was asked to describe this room and as soon as I was asked the details jumped into my mind. I described these one by one adding details that were so old that I had forgotten that I had ever even remembered them.

As soon as Jackie asked me what I was doing in my room, I felt my legs become locked with paralysis, which seemed to creep up my body.

She then asked if there was anyone with me and I then noticed several out of focus white shapes moving around my body. At this stage I realized that these memories were not flowing smoothly, but were jumping ahead as soon as I drew my focus on them. These shapes were figures and they were lifting me from my bed.

I was levitated to the ceiling and rotated so that I could pass through my bedroom window head first. At this stage I found myself 20 feet in the air in the middle of winter on a freezing cold clear night.

At this stage the memory went from a odd experience to a terrifying nightmare. The memories began to bounce back and forth between the age of three to the age of eight. Near to this point Jackie asked me what I would call the beings in my room and a book that I have read recently jumped into my mind (Whitley Strieber’s “The Greys”). In it there is a triad of visitors that he named the three thieves, so when Jackie asked me what I would call them I thought that this name fit them very well. I then changed this to the Ghosts, because as I child I thought that the beings were some kind of lost spirit. When I first saw them I saw vague white shapes floating around my room, so I thought that they were ghosts.

The stars were brilliantly clear and the wind was freezing cold. I saw the three greys flying with me. Directly above was a single spotlight like light. I rapidly ascended toward this light and came to a quick halt once I had traveled through it. As I flew up to the light I notice the stars being blocked out by a huge disc above me. I didn’t know which was worse, the incredible height or the looming foreboding weight above me. Once I passed through the light I was pulled to one side and placed onto a cold hard surface. There was still a light above me which immediately dimmed. I found myself in a large circular space, with a kind of low mist. The light was very dim and I could see movement around me. At this stage my age switched again back to three and I found that the visitors were approximately my own height. As soon as my feet touched the floor my paralysis eased so that I could stand by myself. I felt as if I was being held in treacle, so running wasn’t really an option. I was led up a ramp that was kinda cone shaped around the hole that I had just ascended through.

The visitors led me to the edge of the room to a low bench that ran around the circumference of the room. I noticed a terrible smell like being inside a giant, old, running shoe.

At this stage I was horrified to find my family sat on the bench around the room. They were all naked and were staring straight ahead as if they were either terrified or dead.

The visitors asked me to remove my own clothes, which terrified me. The wrongness of seeing my family both naked and terrified made me want to keep my own clothes on. Eventually the visitors paralyzed me again removed my clothes for me. This felt like a huge betrayal and made me hate them. They then led me from this room down a corridor. I really wanted to run, but the visitors sensed this and showed me an image of myself paralysed while running and crashing to the floor on my own face. They gave the impression that they didn’t want this to happen, but if I ran that it they would have to do this.

The beings then led me into a room near to the end of this corridor on my right. At first I could not understand what I was seeing because what I was seeing I simply didn’t believe. What I saw was a class room, designed for one child. There was and old fashion school desk, complete with inkwell and lid, with a single old wooden chair behind it. In the regression I decided that I was really seeing a table and chair, but whenever I tried to put this image in the picture they kept shifting into the school desk and chair. The desk and chair faced a huge flat screen, that was the size and shape of a small blackboard. Just to right of the door there was a single figure. This figure was wearing a monk’s robe and holding a long staff like a walking stick. I instantly recognized this being and as soon as I saw him I felt both the terror reaction that my three year old self felt at the sight of his old dessicated face and also the joy of being re-united with a good friend. The version of me that was viewing all this from Jackie’s sofa was overjoyed to see this person, but the three year old version believed that he was coming face to face with some kind of monster.

At this stage I realized that the being was not looking at the tiny version of me, but at the version of me that was viewing all of this 27 years in the future in the regression. I saw him calling my little self a smelly poopy head and shrimp and small fry, which immediately endeared the little me to this being. This became a ritual every time I encountered this being. As I got older he would seem serious, but my subconscious would be telling me that this was ok and that it was all a method of entering myself into another version of my character. The version of myself that was terrified would be empowered by standing up to this being and the version of myself that knew this being would be brought forward by our old name calling game.

At this point Jackie asked my spirit guide to step forward, which was perfect, because it was my sprit guide that knew the brown fellow.

I will try to explain what I mean by this. During my abductions the visitors have managed to connect my past life and abduction memories to my conscious mind. During my waking day to day life, this version of myself lies dormant, just because at this stage of my life this version of myself would not be able to effectively integrate into our culture. If I started talking like a 400 hundred year old being that has had numerous dialogues with alien beings, I would undoubtedly be locked up. During my introductory games with the wrinkled being that I refer to as the Brown, this version of myself is brought to the surface. My conscious self and my subconscious self begin to interact in more dynamic way and I am able to comfortably empathize with the visitors. This state is not like suddenly having a head filled with 400 years of experience, it is more like being able to call on this version of myself so that when I am exposed to knowledge that this version of me has already been exposed to, I have sudden deep insights about this information. It is a bit like deja-vu, you have the impression that you have seen something before, but the solid memories are just out of reach. What you do get is a overwhelming sense of whether something is true or not and you can see how things are connected perfectly. So that when someone comes up with a hypothesis and offers two possible conclusions, you instantly know which is the real answer, even if the answer is one that they hadn’t predicted. It is like being asked question and having someone with you so that when you are asked, depending on which is the correct option the other person opposite you nods slightly, except the nod is replaced with an instant inescapable feeling of correctness. This feeling doesn’t convey much, but it does allow you to explore areas of your mind without making a wrong turn. Usually at the end of my abduction experiences I don’t want to leave them. This is because by this stage the intuitive feeling has allowed me to see the visitors in a different light, as old friends that I am comfortable with.

During my early childhood experiences I would enter this state every time, but as I grew older my fearful egoistic side would prevent myself from opening to the visitors.

During the regression my memories of this state allowed me to re-enter it. It would seem that the visitors had predicted this, which is why I had felt their presence so strongly before my regression. Both myself and Jackie were immersed within a kind of field that the visitors use to communicate. While we were talking we were being connected to this field, to enable the visitors to communicate with me during my regression. This is why we were both able to sense the images that kept flashing in our minds, it is because to a certain degree we were part of the same consciousness. I call this state the overmind, because when I am around the greys I have always had the feeling that my mind was somehow linked to their shared consciousness.

Once I remembered the brown fellow I also remembered the altered state of mind and once I did this I fully connected with it. Once I was there I was able to use it to find answers to my inner most questions.

I found out a lot about the visitors, but the real gem for me was the understanding that I gained concerning the nature of our souls and the path that I have been on since my first meeting with the visitors three lifetimes ago.

Since leaving Jackie’s house I have felt my larger/wider/older self within and beyond myself. This part of me is not like the day to day version of myself. The actions of this other self are acted out over years decades and centuries. His thoughts are both instantaneous and infinitely patient. I am have been becoming more and more connected with this mind since my regression.

I now think that my regression was a catalyst for a new stage in my development and I am incredibly grateful to jackie for allowing me to enter this new state of being as I don’t think that I could have done it without her.

I won’t go into detail here about what I learned from the regression, but I will post articles on each subject that I explored.

After my regressions I closed the imaginary door behind me I noticed that the doors handle was a large brass rose.

I also realized that the image that Jackie's printer was an illustration of my childhood encounters, which was were my regression began.

The day after my regression Jackie also sent an email to check that I was okay. She had witnessed three huge flashes in the sky that night, at the time she took them to be lightening. She became worried when she heard these flashes mentioned on a local radio station as unexplained and wondered whether I had had some kind of physical encounter with the visitors.

Again I am incredibly grateful to Jackie, because I gained more from my regression than I could have possibly imagined.

Here is an audio recording of my regression.Sound clip.mp3

Simply right click the link and select the 'save file as' option.

Here is the same file streamed through a media player.

If you want to talk to me about any of my experiences my email is at martindoolittle@yahoo.com

Here is a skype button to my skype id,

And here is a chatroomthat I will post on whenever I get the chance.

Okay here is the first article that I promised to write concerning what I learned during my regression.

Firstly I am sorry for the long delay, one of the reasons for this delay is that this stuff can be pretty hard to live with, not because it is hard, but because it is hard to integrate into everyday life. As an example I found that immediately after my regression that I had real difficulty operating my car. My head has so full of new concepts that I wanted to explore that I had become physically clumsy and almost completely numb. When I am processing this stuff or just going through a period where I am contemplating the visitors a lot, I find it hard to hold simple conversations, I become distant, forgetful and vague. 

Another reason for the delay is that I am concerned that much of what I learned could possibly be part of some kind of huge delusional hallucination/fantasy that I have been experiencing and living with my whole life. Even after a lifetime of having these memories and experiences, I still haven't fully dismissed the possibility that I could just be a complete fruitcake. At times this conservative explanation seems much more logical than the idea that this stuff is for real. If that is the truth then I have a responsibility to not expose other people to my delusions and also to try and get help of the men in white coats variety. An even more disturbing possibility is that all of the information is in fact a kind of propaganda for a malevolent alien force, in which case; I should just keep this stuff to myself.

I have shared some of these fears with Jackie and she has reassured me that the information that I relayed to her came from my subconscious mind and that the subconscious is incapable of deception. So with that in mind here is the first article concerning what I learned at the start of September this year.

Conscious space and the Overmind

Okay before I go into the finer details of what I learned from my regression, I must give an insight of what I learned about the nature of consciousness and of the differences between our conscious processes and those of the visitors.

The contents of this subject could fill a whole library of books, so I will post a rather condensed version of the information that I have received. This information has come from my own sleeping doppelganger, i.e. the version of myself that retains the memories of my encounters with the visitors, but also from a connection to another form of consciousness that I was connected to during my regression. I am still connected to this consciousness, but I have to enter into a deeply relaxed state to open up any communication with this form of mind.

I am not making much sense at the moment, which is why I decided to start these articles with an explanation of the nature of consciousness. Hopefully after this article most of what I write will make some kind of sense; I make no promises though .

On the 3rd, even before I was put into an altered state I found that I was able to access memories that have remained hidden from me since the encounters themselves.

Just before my regression I had a long discussion with Jackie about what I hoped to gain from my regression. At some point during this discussion we started to talk about the female grey entity that scared me so much as a child. Jackie asked me what it was that scared me so much about this being, and as I tried to put into words what it was that I found so terrifying, I was given an memory of a time that this entity actually told me about her own role within the visitors social order. She told me that I could think of her as the edge of a blade of a vast spear. The visitors represent the weight of the blade. They provide the force and mass of the blade. Without them the spear would not fly, where as she is the cutting edge. She is the dynamic face of the visitors. She is the  conductor to the visitors choir, an anchor point to their combined consciouness that allows them to function in our linear reality. She is part of a whole sub-section of advanced Greys that share this role; each overseeing a large number of regular greys.

This instance gives us a small insight of the consciousness of the visitors. Since my regression I have dipped into this subject many times, mainly because I have wanted to understand the source of the information the I recovered or uncover during my regression. 

The first revelation is that consciousness itself predates our Universe. To understand how this is possible it is necessary consider the nature of existence itself and to this we must consider the nature of time and space. One of the biggest questions that has plagued cosmological science is how can the Universe or any form of existence spring forth from nothing. After all 0+0 will always equal 0, no matter how many times you do that most simple of all equations. The answer to the question is pretty bizarre but fortunately quite simple. The answer is to use infinitely repeating matrices of existence. These forms of existence don't have to have a starting point because they are constantly repeating, they are fractal that is to say that they have always been, but they are constantly changing states, it is just that they do so in cycles, so they eventually these states will repeat again and again. These matrices only really have a hypothetical existence, that is to say that they have a certain probability of existing, but don't necessarily have to really exist. The trouble is that the same could be said about all things in reality. If you know anything about quantum physics you will know that a photon only has a probability of being in a certain place at a given time, it is only when that particle interacts (exchanges energy with another particle) that its position becomes locked in reality. At the minutest scales, all matter only has a hypothetical existence or position, that is to say that all things in our reality exist purely on the rules of mathematical probability. This means that all things only have a hypothetical existence and that their existence becomes more grounded when they react to or with other phenomenon.

This is why at the quantum level that all matter seems to spin or repeat and also why all sub-atomic matter doesn't seem to be governed by the same set of physical rules that govern matter at the larger scales. This is because our Universe as we understand it is nothing but a possible pattern of existence laid on top of the vast sea of quantum possibility.

I could go on about this subject for ever, but I will skip straight to the nature of consciousness. A consciousness or thought form is a hypothetical pattern that links together quantum/fractal patterns of existence. At certain points during their existence, quantum particles could be said to interact at some level. That is to say that the motions of one particle could be said to interact with another or even that the motions of this particle be a certain way because of another different particle. If the possibility of these particles interacting exceeds a certain probability then the nature of these particles will change and begin to depend on each other. This way these particles of existence will begin to evolve and change and more complex matrices of matter will begin to exist. Beyond the boundaries of our linear Universe the matrices only have a hypothetical existence and their could exist matrices of existences that are phenomenally huge. These patterns of existence would be constantly evolving and interacting with each other. I believe that it is within these hypothetical matrices of existence that our consciousnesses were first created.

I believe that our minds are woven into the very fabric of existence itself and that our physical reality gives us a linear physical medium for our continued existence and evolution. You could could think of consciousness as a kind of software woven into the physical circuitry of existence. this software starts out as a random stream of 1's and 0's, but in a Universe of infinite possibilities and probabilities these codes or patterns become more and more complex. These patterns are also hypothetical, just as all other forms of existence, but these patterns are laid on top of the patterns that were already their, linking together matrices of existence, by merit of their probable compatibility. 

Our Universe itself is a hypothetical pattern or matrix of existence just as all other matter, the primary difference is that our Universe is a linear pattern, either that or it is a unimaginably huge re-occurring matrix ( that is if you believe in the big crunch theory). There are many possible reasons for the birth of our linear Universe, but I won't go into that here.

Our universe itself offers a medium of existence for the conscious patterns of existence to grow and evolve in a hugely complex matrix of reality. I believe that biological evolution is a result of conscious intent altering or effecting our reality at the smallest possible scales.